Children and adolescents who face moral dilemmas and value conflicts, many times, need a way to process these situations that can show them the truth.  I think it is more realistic for this to occur in a family system that has a norm set to evaluate behavior and daily events based upon the virtues of honesty, respect, and love than a family system that takes a reactive approach to problems, and issues their children present.  With a family foundation built on principles of love, respect, and honesty, children will begin to understand how different messages communicated to them either coincides or is contrary to their morals and values.  Children and adolescents will begin to demonstrate the ability to think critically and challenge those beliefs that are in conflict with their belief system in the areas of love, honesty, and respect.  Children will gain assertiveness skills and exercise responsibility for how they think and act during times they are voicing their views while respecting the person they are in opposition.  The family who works this system on a daily basis will become a problem-solving machine.  The family will become the environment of the truth in which all its members can test the positive and negative messages within and outside of the family system.  Children possessing these problem solving skills can go far in managing or preventing depression.

Since it would be unrealistic to hold schools, work environments, and the community accountable to a system that evaluates virtuous behavior and holds persons accountable for not following the behavioral standards set, the family is the key to change in this area.  When the truth concerning positive versus negative behavior is known, children and adults are better equipped to deal with others and make adjustments to how and to what degree they engage others.  The family needs to be a safe haven for all family members to regroup from a world that can be quite vicious at times.  Without positive communication and honest evaluation of events and behaviors of the family members, the family can be as vicious or more so than the outside world.  If you have come from this type of environment, you know what I say is true.  You know the anxiety, helplessness, and hopelessness you felt growing up. 

There will be parents out here that turn a blind eye and deaf ear to this message.  They refuse to look at the truth and how they are inflicting pain and hurt on their children.  They hurt their children through physical, sexual, emotional, and neglectful means.  They have little regard for their children’s well being and only engage in behaviors that serve their purposes.  They refuse to look at who they are and how they disrespect, hate, and lie to get their needs fulfilled.  Because there are families like this in this country, our schools and community helpers must develop systems that are similar to the one I described in this section of the book.  Teachers and counselors must role model, and teach virtuous behavior and get children to see the truth if the children will have any chance to act in ways that will protect themselves.  Teachers and counselors need to know how much is at stake for children who are in families that hurt them.  The real threat of retaliation is part of many children’s decision not to disclose hurts to others.  Many children are unaware that they are being emotionally abused or provided negative messages that hurt them in subtle ways.  For those children adolescents, there must be a system of care that can bring out the truth and help these children see the wrongs that are occurring and help them to understand that their thinking and feeling that things at home are wrong are valid.  In the next section of this book, I will present how this program can be adapted to the school environment.  This is the system of care that children spend the majority of their life during their child and adolescent years.

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The actual psychological personality of a person is referred to as the ‘self’ of a person. Each one of us have a hidden self within us that we have either kept hidden through our rationalizations or have not participated in intospection work to discover our uglier sides to our personalities. Many of us think that it is his consciousness that lead to our actions. Actually, our inner self guides our behavior in our day-to-day life. This self is constructed and undergoes transformation with the passage of time as we experience life and it’s ups and downs. Ego also forms a part of our inner self. It makes us fight for our own identity in the world. It stresses on an individual existence of a human being separated from others. This will make an individual proud and selfish. He will neglect certain facts, which will be an obstacle in his self-awareness and thereby degrading his self-development. Thus for the development of the inner-self, the foremost step is self-introspection. This means that an individual should look within himself and analyze his own personality. This kind of emotional intelligence is necessary to fully develop as a human being.  This way he will be able to make out his own strengths and weaknesses. After this, it will be easy for him to take on to the methods that add on to his strengths and subtract his weaknesses. A person will then become more attracted towards the positive ways of life. This can be selfless service towards humanity and moving away from the negative thoughts of life such as jealousy and frustration. This will lead to the healing of the inner-self and can help many of the depressed to recover.

Another way of self-healing is to take on an optimistic attitude towards life. Many of us are prone to pessimistic thinking, which is the reason why we fail to realize the possibility of a solution to the problem. Taking on a positive and constructive attitude will give an individual the strength to face the problems of life and seek a solution to the same.

Self-healing add on to the energy level of an individual and also aids in curing disorders like insomnia, aches, depression, and various physical and mental ailments. Meditation and yoga are some of the other ways that helps a person in the realization of a higher self.

Meditation is a method of healing that helps to think above his own individuality and think for the development of humanity as a whole. It is a three way process that works through self-regulation, self-exploration and self-liberation. It helps us to keep a check on our animal desires and improves our concentration. This brings out our potential by way of several exercises and strengthens our character. It leads us to a spiritual realization and bridges the gap between our real and true self. Moreover, by making we realize our mistakes and weaknesses it brings about a transformation in our personality. Last but not the least, it reveals to us the truth of life and death and contributes in one’s process of self-healing. Yoga, on the other hand, helps in achieving the tranquility of mind. It provides relaxation and reduces stress that helps in self-healing.

Self-love is a method of transformation of our inner self. Every person has the desire that the thing or the person he loves should always be perfect. Therefore, if a person will love himself then, no doubt, he will make all the efforts to transform and develop himself and be a better person. ‘Reiki’ is a method that helps in self-healing. The person expert in this method can heal any diseases weather physical or mental and thereby by its vibes cures a person and leads to self-healing of his inner-self. Thus, many methods help in self-healing individual just needs to make efforts for the same.

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