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Hurt and Negative Thoughts and Feelings

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Since many of those who have been hurt by loved ones in subtle ways, there is usually no significant event to trigger that there is an abusive situation occurring.  Feeling hurt, sad, guilty, worthless, hopeless, helpless, or angry becomes many of the core feelings of the victims of this type of hurt.  They many times begin to associate their negative feelings with who they are.  They become bad people, and worthless individuals in their eyes. 

Jane is a hard working executive for a fortune 500 company.  She has won many awards for her achievements at work. She always tries to stay one step ahead of everyone because she knows how much more critically women are judged on their performance than the men.  She also knows how scared and bad she feels all the time.  She is afraid that others will see right through her and see the bad person she really is.  She suspects that everyone knows she was raped as a child and does not know whom to trust.  Jane has a meeting with her boss the other day and was provided some critical feedback concerning her presentation to her staff she supervises.  She was told she is very critical of their performance without acknowledging their positive performance.  Jane thinks she is a bad person and probably does not deserve to have her job.  Jane is being treated for Depression and an anxiety disorder.

This is an example of someone that has suffered a traumatic hurt in her life and views the world and people around her.  She associates her negative feelings with who she is and second guesses her worthiness of a job she has be given awards for demonstrating great competencies.  Many times, victims of hurt do not see the obvious situation they are involved.  They instantly base the situation on how they feel and many times integrate the feeling as part of who they are.  This is important to know for your own life.  What are the bases for your assessment of who you are?  If you are basing this on how you feel, I bet that your assessment is not very accurate.  This type of approach will make you very vulnerable to being victimized or hurt by others.

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Feeling Bad and Wondering Why

You wake up in the morning and wonder why you have an uneasy feeling in your stomach.  You are scared and hide under your covers and hope that people will just go away.  You feel tired and want someone to take care of you. You find that your temper can be tapped easy and have difficulties finding good in others.  You wonder why your mother and father don’t love you. You deal with others each day but cannot figure out what the rules of engagement are with them.  Some days they treat you with respect; other times they talk behind your back.  You have friends, family members, and significant others who never seem to give you what you desire or need.  You make every attempt to gain the love of those you figure should love you back.  You feel very worn and are not enjoying life as you would like.  You find it difficult to talk in front of crowds and have many fears in life.  Does any of these statements sound familiar to you?  Living life can definitely be a challenge for everyone.  It is especially difficult in a society that de-emphasizes morality and virtuous living.  When you add sexual, physical, and emotional hurt to your life, I believe you will begin to lose touch with what is real in life.

How many relationships are you currently involved in which you can say are honest, respectful, and loving.  When you make your assessment of your relationships are you being guided by your thoughts or your feelings?  These are significant areas to consider when you begin to look at what is causing you to feel bad, lonely, empty, tired, irritable, hopeless, helpless, and unhappy.  I believe these feelings are due to the hurts you have encountered by the people you have come in contact and quite possibly have intimate relationships.  This may sound surprising to you and quite unbelievable.  The more obvious hurts in the form of sexual and physical abuse are easier to ascertain as abusive than the more subtle hurts that take the form of put downs, criticism, name calling, and messages suggesting that you should not exist.  When people tell you that their problems in life are a result of your existence, then the message may be interpreted to mean the problem would not exist if you do not exist.  I believe these negative messages are subtle enough to go unnoticed and over time cause much hurt for the receiver of this message.  I will discuss how the subtle messages have contributed to many forms of maladaptive responses by the victims of these negative messages.

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Diagnosed with Bipolar Mood Disorder – Start Mending Fences Now

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It’s easier to face the hardships of life when your love ones are there for you. If an individual suffers from an illness, the first ones to assist him in his situation is his dear family. That is why many people are counting on family members and relatives especially if they’re going through a difficult phase.
What happens if you’re diagnosed with bipolar mood disorder? Just as the word suggests, it’s a mood disorder. For some time, you might have observed your mood swings. Oftentimes, other family members can notice these things easily but they don’t give it much importance. When the behavior becomes radical, this can already cause a disruption in the family or even at work.

Whenever you have an episode, you will likely do abnormal things, and you can even hurt your love ones. You tend to make wrong or bad decisions which are hard to fix. Trying to pick-up pieces after an episode is really hard. This is probably why most bipolar patients want to isolate themselves and are ashamed to come face to face with their family members and friends. But isolation will only make things a lot worse.

Instead of closing your doors to the people that greatly cares and loves you, you have to reach out to them. Reach out to the people you’ve hurt and try to explain what happened. Making apologies is the best way and tell them that you’re already seeking help.

Once a person is diagnosed with the disorder, his or her instant reaction is to deny it and not inform others. Sharing the knowledge of the disorder with others can be very hard. And not every bipolar patient thinks of it as an excellent idea. But with the aid of your therapist or doctor, you can arrive at a better decision.

Keeping things secret is not good, especially if it’s about bipolar. In fact, it can be very harmful in the long run. It would be better to inform trusted family members and friends so that they will understand the situation.
Bipolar disorder can greatly affect an individual, and the worst thing that can happen is suicide. There are facts that you need to be aware of if you have bipolar disorder like:

1. Suicide attempts usually occur during mixed or depressed episodes
2. Some suicide happens during or after coming out a mania or depressive episode; and this happens when the patient is feeling a lot better
3. 25 to 50 percent of bipolar patients attempts suicide at least once
4. One out of five bipolar patients commits suicide
5. Patients who misuse drugs and alcohol are at a greater suicide risk
If a bipolar patient has suicidal tendencies, his condition requires control of the symptoms. Suicidal thoughts are not really ‘you’ as a person, but can be associated with the symptoms of bipolar disorder. This is a sign which means that you need professional attention. The thoughts will not go away alone, what you need is a proper treatment and/or medication.

As part of a treatment regimen, you need to build your own support network. You have to use your available resources to get a good start. Your support foundation can consist of family members, friends, therapists, doctor, and members of the community (local or national). You’re at the community’s center and acts as a driving force. You can build or maintain this community with the support of the people around you.

Your support group knows your feelings and thoughts. These people have encountered and struggled with the same problems. People with the same disorder can give you practical advice and support. They will teach you coping skills, how to open up, and understand your situation completely. You can also arrange for a meeting with fellow bipolar patients.

You must remember that treatments and medications are greatly needed in your condition. And to make things a lot better, finding a support group can help you in living a normal life. Don’t sulk in your home. There are a lot of people out there who cares about you. All you have to do is to reach out to them, make them feel that you’re exerting an effort to make things a lot better for you, your family, and the community as a whole.

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