Depression in Kids
Children and adolescents who face moral dilemmas and value conflicts, many times, need a way to process these situations that can show them the truth. I think it is more realistic for this to occur in a family system that has a norm set to evaluate behavior and daily events based upon the virtues of honesty, respect, and love than a family system that takes a reactive approach to problems, and issues their children present. With a family foundation built on principles of love, respect, and honesty, children will begin to understand how different messages communicated to them either coincides or is contrary to their morals and values. Children and adolescents will begin to demonstrate the ability to think critically and challenge those beliefs that are in conflict with their belief system in the areas of love, honesty, and respect. Children will gain assertiveness skills and exercise responsibility for how they think and act during times they are voicing their views while respecting the person they are in opposition. The family who works this system on a daily basis will become a problem-solving machine. The family will become the environment of the truth in which all its members can test the positive and negative messages within and outside of the family system. Children possessing these problem solving skills can go far in managing or preventing depression.
Since it would be unrealistic to hold schools, work environments, and the community accountable to a system that evaluates virtuous behavior and holds persons accountable for not following the behavioral standards set, the family is the key to change in this area. When the truth concerning positive versus negative behavior is known, children and adults are better equipped to deal with others and make adjustments to how and to what degree they engage others. The family needs to be a safe haven for all family members to regroup from a world that can be quite vicious at times. Without positive communication and honest evaluation of events and behaviors of the family members, the family can be as vicious or more so than the outside world. If you have come from this type of environment, you know what I say is true. You know the anxiety, helplessness, and hopelessness you felt growing up.
There will be parents out here that turn a blind eye and deaf ear to this message. They refuse to look at the truth and how they are inflicting pain and hurt on their children. They hurt their children through physical, sexual, emotional, and neglectful means. They have little regard for their children’s well being and only engage in behaviors that serve their purposes. They refuse to look at who they are and how they disrespect, hate, and lie to get their needs fulfilled. Because there are families like this in this country, our schools and community helpers must develop systems that are similar to the one I described in this section of the book. Teachers and counselors must role model, and teach virtuous behavior and get children to see the truth if the children will have any chance to act in ways that will protect themselves. Teachers and counselors need to know how much is at stake for children who are in families that hurt them. The real threat of retaliation is part of many children’s decision not to disclose hurts to others. Many children are unaware that they are being emotionally abused or provided negative messages that hurt them in subtle ways. For those children adolescents, there must be a system of care that can bring out the truth and help these children see the wrongs that are occurring and help them to understand that their thinking and feeling that things at home are wrong are valid. In the next section of this book, I will present how this program can be adapted to the school environment. This is the system of care that children spend the majority of their life during their child and adolescent years.
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